I want to stick my p in your. b.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
