dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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