How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
