carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
