Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
