Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
