There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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