i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
