So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
