i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
