Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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