I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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