I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
