Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
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You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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