He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
