...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
