Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
