i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
