I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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