"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize