I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
