That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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