I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
