She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
