Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
