Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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