Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize