I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
That's intense
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
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