Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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