Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
