I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
