ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize