Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
