Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
