she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
