my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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