scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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