he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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