And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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