Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
