24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
