I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
True strength comes from lack of pants
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize