I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
where does the pee come out of this thing
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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