Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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