I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize