i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want to have your abortion
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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