Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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