So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
