he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
