I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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