Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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