i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
two words: eviction party
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
