let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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