I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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