Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
