He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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