Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
