the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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