All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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