end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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