ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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