Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Pussy?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  how

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Wat do u mean how?

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  (248): Pussy? (586): how (248): Wat do u mean how? http://tfl.nu/4yqk
  Replies (5) Good night (982) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.

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  (907): He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED. http://tfl.nu/5p57
  Replies (10) Good night (2586) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

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  (308): yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time http://tfl.nu/mn2j
  Replies (32) Good night (5309) Bad night (2545)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.

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  (940): The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down. http://tfl.nu/a74v
  Replies (27) Good night (7465) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3363) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing

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  (317): just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing http://tfl.nu/zjbc
  Replies (4) Good night (3058) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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  (727): If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take. http://tfl.nu/cnz2
  Replies (10) Good night (986) Bad night (1634)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.

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  (785): im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit. http://tfl.nu/en3h
  Replies (2) Good night (1473) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  I thank god almighty everyday

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  (918): We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas (1-918): I thank god almighty everyday http://tfl.nu/mbi3
  Replies (18) Good night (1721) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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  (301): Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you. http://tfl.nu/00du
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You have a very discerning palate.

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  (410): It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze. (301): You have a very discerning palate. http://tfl.nu/r2sj
  Replies (11) Good night (908) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"

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  (613): He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know" http://tfl.nu/d7uq
  Replies (8) Good night (1114) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.

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  (330): If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest. http://tfl.nu/8ghs
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them

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  (414): I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them http://tfl.nu/rxba
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.

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  (217): He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over. http://tfl.nu/px42
  Replies (1) Good night (1163) Bad night (202)

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