no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.