yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
