Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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