The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
