Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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