you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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